Brain Rules for Baby (John Medina) / quote 65 of 91
Attachment and what babies tag as important
In that game of peekaboo, it is obvious that the baby and his mother have already formed a reciprocating relationship. In the late 1960s, researchers coined a term to describe it: attachment. Attachment theory springs from the finding that babies come into this world preloaded with lots of emotional and relational abilities. At birth, babies appear to express disgust, distress, interest, and contentment. Within six months, they experience anger, fear, sadness, surprise, and joy. Give them another year and they will feel embarrassment, jealousy, guilt, and maybe even pride. These emotions are like RoboCop’s tags (or Post-it notes, if you prefer) telling the brain, “Pay attention to this!” Different kids tag different things. It’s as random as a newborn’s fascination with Dad’s beard, an infant’s distress at wearing socks, or a toddler’s fear or love of dogs. Knowing what your kids tag—what things they have an emotional reaction to—and then responding to that knowledge in specific ways is not only part of the attachment process, but one of the big secrets to raising happy kids.