Brain Rules for Baby (John Medina) / quote 78 of 91
The three-legged stool of moral upbringing
Families who raise moral kids follow very predictable patterns when it comes to rules and discipline. The patterns are not a behavioral insurance policy, but they are as close as research gets us right now. Many interlocking components make up these patterns; an illustration from my wife’s kitchen may simplify things. We used to keep a three-legged stool near the refrigerator to help our boys reach the shelves. Think of the flat seat of that stool as representing the development of a moral awareness, or conscience. Each leg represents what researchers know about how to support it. You need all three legs for the stool to provide children with the sturdiest seat—the most finely attuned moral reflexes. The three legs are: • Clear, consistent rules and rewards • Swift punishment • Rules that are explained