We often leave a job or situation because we are unhappy about something: an overbearing manager, irritating colleagues, ridiculous hours. When we make a change, however, what thoughts, beliefs and habits travel with us recreating the environment we're escaping? A change is an opportunity to become someone new, but only if we alter ourselves in the process – only changing locations will not work. Think about what you are trying to escape.

This takes some time and real work. We often act to fulfil a personal value. Choosing a late night at the office over the gym may signal a high value of commitment to work over health. When you are conscious of the true values driving your decisions, it's easier consciously to pursue goals to fulfil these values. When your health tops the list and you know why, choosing gym time is easy. Things get hard when old values conflict with new – especially when we aren't conscious of it.

Who can help you accept that change happened, recognise opportunities and prepare yourself to embrace them? I enlisted others to help me: personal trainers, physiotherapists, coaches, friends and family. They didn't all know the answers, but they could help me experiment, learn and stay accountable.

Recognise what you can and cannot control, and do things with purpose. I cannot change the world around me. I cannot change others. But I do have control over my thoughts and actions. I don't have to live subject to the things or people I experience. I choose how I treat myself. I choose how I interact with those around me.